Looks like I finally made it! Someone is impersonating me on Facebook, apparently offering sweet marketing and book deals, and even offering to introduce folks to Amy Poehler. Obviously it's too good to be true, team.
Thanks to all who raised this directly to me through official channels, and no thanks to Facebook who has yet to take any action on this person who literally swiped personal pictures and is being a real creep to other authors and illustrators.